I’ve had several clients recently tell me that they are not resilient. One client commented that the thought “I’m not resilient” surfaces for her anytime she finds herself having uncomfortable thoughts and feelings related to anxiety. Together we explored her definition of resilient and compared it to the actual definition of resilient.
Her definition:
Resilient: a person who is unphased by difficult thoughts, feelings, and situations, including those related to anxiety.
Actual definition of resilience:
(of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. “babies are generally far more resilient than new parents realize”
(of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed. “a shoe with resilient cushioning”
We immediately noticed that the first definition uses the word “recover,” tying in with therapy for anxiety. This stood out because you can’t have recovery without having something to recover from, particularly relevant to OCD treatment. A person cannot go around and say “I’m recovering from cancer” if they have never had cancer.
The next thing we noticed is that the second definition specifically states that a substance or object has been bent, stretched, or compressed. This is similar to the challenges faced in therapy for anxiety, indicating that there must be some kind of change in form or functioning before resilience can occur.
We compared these insights to her original idea of resilience and realized that it didn’t hold up in the context of anxiety, OCD treatment, and the challenges she has been facing. Insight is great, but insight alone does not produce lasting change, especially in anxiety-related situations.
Insight + committed action (such as seeking therapy for anxiety, OCD treatment) = lasting change
Given that my client is in therapy, meeting with me, her therapist, she had obviously found herself in an uncomfortable state, uncomfortable enough to seek therapy for anxiety. According to the definition of resilient, we could say that she found herself in a “difficult condition” or in other words “had been bending, stretching, or being compressed, AND this is not an indication that resilience is missing.
In fact, her difficult condition and state of being out of sorts is the foundation from which resilience can be expressed, especially in the context of therapy for anxiety and OCD treatment.
Recovering slowly or quickly
Although the definition I referenced used the phrase “recover quickly,” this is not indicative that there is a hard and fast window in which recovery must take place in order for the requirements of resilience to be met in anxiety-related situations.
An inflated beach ball that is pressed underwater, and upon its release, immediately springs back up to the surface has a quick and obvious recovery, resiliency. A tulip bulb that must be planted in the fall and takes 14-16 weeks to emerge demonstrates a resiliency that is no less than equal to the beach ball. A woman who has removed herself from an abusive situation, might need years to return to a comfortable state, especially in the context of therapy for anxiety. The years do not disqualify her from being equal in resiliency to the ball and the tulip.
Quick is relative, especially in the context of therapy for anxiety and OCD treatment.
I’ve learned that when we rush to the finish line, when we hurry ourselves to return to previous levels of functioning so that we can claim resilience and move on with our lives, we unintentionally leave bits of our lives unexamined and untreated, particularly in anxiety-related situations. As we move forward, we do so with unseen vulnerabilities that increase the likelihood that, upon facing the next challenge, we will bend and stretch more quickly and take even longer to recover and experience resiliency.
We think that our speed in which recover is an indication of our strength but it is actually an indication of where our future vulnerabilities lie.
My dad is a surgeon and he goes over recovery plans and timelines with his patients prior to them undergoing surgery. He knows that the best results happen when a patient is committed not just to the surgery but to the recovery process as well. He has gotten many a phone call from patients who tried to do too much too soon that end up needing some kind of surgical repair in order to continue to heal.
Whether we are in therapy or in surgery, we need to honor and abide by the recovery process no matter how long it takes.
For my clients of Christian faith, one of the fruits of the spirit is patience, also known as long suffering. The word patience is much more palatable than the word long suffering isn’t it? Long suffering is hard to reconcile with our preferences for miracles and victories, especially in the context of therapy for anxiety and OCD treatment. It strains our faith and belief system. We want to rush to the good part, the miracle, the victory.
Embrace patience and long suffering as Jesus did while your resilience emerges, even if progress in therapy for anxiety and OCD is taking longer than you would like.
Wherever you find yourself on your OCD and anxiety recovery journey, know that you are not alone. If you are ready to take your next step towards recovery, you can schedule an appointment today or contact us for more information.
Other Therapy Services Offered at Evercare Counseling
Evercare Counseling offers a range of mental health services to help provide you with more support. These services include anxiety therapy, ERP therapy, OCD treatment, therapy for women, and Christian counseling. Online therapy is provided throughout Virginia, North Carolina, and Florida. We also see clients in person at our office in Clemmons, North Carolina. For more about us check out our FAQs and blog!